“But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.” James 1:6-8
This is how I used to read this verse:
“I really want wisdom… but I can’t believe perfectly. I better not ask at all.”
Or I would question if I heard Him or it was wishful thinking.
Even simple things- like hearing God say “I love you” were cast into shadows. Maybe I just wanted to hear that but He didn’t really say it?
I assumed that God was speaking to me through events. I determined His will through a series of “open doors” if something fell into place- that must be God.
When terrible things happened, I assumed that God must be putting it in my life. I trusted Him even less. I was in a crazy cycle of doubt and fear. I felt so isolated.
This was all wrong! It clearly says God will give without finding fault. James seems to be appealing to the natural order; waves are blown by the wind. God is not the one who is tossing us about or punishing us for our doubt. A natural byproduct of doubt is that we become double-minded. We cannot hear God because we have put our own fingers in our ears.
The key is to accept that this process is not perfect. God is perfect and able to make us understand, but He wants to cultivate a relationship with us. Like any other relationship, it must be prioritized, guarded, and worked on.
Very often we will misunderstand. God can sort it out. Cultivating a listening heart, working through distractions and fear- this is the NORMAL Christian life.
I dare you to ask God for wisdom- and wait. Oh that is vulnerable! He is trying to slow us down, get us into His rhythm. The first step is simply to try.